Putting Happy Back in My Holidays

I went through several years where I despised the month of December. Yes you read that right. I hated Christmas. It's also the month of my birthday. The two biggest celebrations of the year in the same month, and I hated that month.

When I was in college, somehow my birthday almost always fell during finals week. Happy Birthday! Not! My birthday month was connected with stress and sleep deprivation.

As I left school and began my life as a working professional, other stressors entered the December fun. How do I pay for the plane ticket home, or if I don't go home will they all be mad? What do I buy for family members that I only see once a year and don't really know all that well anymore? Oh yeah, and it can't cost very much. Then there were years when 1 or more of the grandparents were living with my parents and there were simply too many adults in the same house. When I couldn't handle the conversation (if you could call it that) I'd get up and go to the kitchen for some fudge. I ate a lot of fudge one year.

Then there is all the stress of holiday performances, both my own and those of my students. Then there are all the parties to go to, some of which I enjoy, but all of which take time that I wish I could use for other things.

OK, this post is not really about all the horrible things about the holidays. It's really about what I've been doing and what I'm planning to do this year to reclaim the joy of the holiday season and let go of some of the stress.

First we have to get through Thanksgiving. I'm doing things a little differently this year. OK, a lot different. I'm doing the eat-too-much-wonderful-food thing this week. And then I am spending Thanksgiving alone. No, please do not feel sorry for me and invite me over. I want to do this. I am choosing it. Rather than waiting for January 1, Thanksgiving Day is the day that I am starting a new phase of my life. And I will be celebrating quietly at home. I'm putting together a list of music that I want to list to that reminds me of all the wonderful things that I am thankful for. So far the list includes Mahler's "Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen"(I have a couple of really good performances of it that I will be listening to), John Denver's "It Amazes Me", and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing Mack Wilberg's setting of Oliver Wendell Holmes text," Thou Gracious God, Whose Mercy Lends". Feel free to send recommendations of other songs to add to the list.

I've decided not to let myself get stressed this December. My calendar is currently as full as I'm going to allow it to be. I'm emailing the family to find out what everybody needs and/or wants for Christmas. Then I at least have some ideas. I'm going to listen to Christmas music--good Christmas music--everyday. I might even decorate this year. If it's all still up in April, you can come over and help me put it away.

What I'm not going to do in December is let the sugar control my life. Yes I love it, but it really doesn't love me, and I'm pretty sure that the world doesn't love me much when I've had too much sugar. So, this year, the holidays are not going to be about food. I'm going to find other ways to celebrate that don't involve food, caffeine, or alcohol. I'm going to do things that make me happy.