Summer Vacation

During my summer, I teach a much lighter load and enjoy long weekends nearly every weekend. Some years, I also get to travel to conventions, reunions, or to see family. But I rarely do anything that I would really call a vacation. This weekend, that changed. I did something totally fun that didn't have any work or family connections. After 15 years in MN, I finally spent a weekend at a cabin up north. And I loved it.

We arrived about 3pm on a warm, sunny afternoon and then went swimming in the lake.

Later, I sat at the kitchen table and tried to read, but I was totally unable to focus on the book. The gentle movement of the trees in the breeze, the delicate features of the hummingbird at the feeder just outside the window, and The Muldau playing softly on the radio created an intense moment of peace and beauty that I didn't want to abandon for a formulaic novel.

After dinner we went for a boat ride around the island. The island and lake are beautiful and I loved being on the water.

We walked back down to the dock to watch the amazing sunset. Once again, my iPhone camera doesn't show things exactly as I saw them, but I still really like these pictures.













The lake inspired me to write and as I was writing, and later as I was trying to fall asleep, I finally figured out the big missing pieces to a story I wrote ages ago. There is still a lot of work to be done on it, but at least now I know what I am doing.

The second day there was rainy and cold, so I didn't get to spend more time in the water, but I really enjoyed the day anyway. We did Tai Chi. We read. We went for a walk. We put together a puzzle. We talked.

Good company, wonderful food, and a beautiful location plus reading, writing, swimming, and Tai Chi created the perfect vacation for me. Now I'd better post this and get ready to go back to the real world of work.

Today's profound thoughts

Just in case you were starting to think that I have amazingly deep and profound thoughts all the time, I've decided to share a little of what normally goes on in my brain.

I am a reader. I don't even really try to read, but I notice things and read them whether I want to or not. Today while stuffing my face with potato chips, I happened to read the bag:
"MADE WITH ALL NATURAL INGREDIENTS"
First of all, if we're not supposed to type in all caps because that is like yelling at someone, why do companies use all caps on their labels?
Second, though I appreciate their efforts to avoid all that nasty artificial stuff, I'm eating potato chips. If at this moment I really cared about putting only the best in my body, I wouldn't be eating potato chips. There are no "healthy" potato chips. Some just kill you slower than others.

Then turning to the back of the bag, I see "It all starts with farm-grown potatoes" and "farm-grown potatoes" is in bold.

Number 1, I am from Idaho and should probably know the answer to this question, but help me out anyway. Can potatoes be grown in greenhouses? I thought the options were a farm or a garden.

Number 2, Why are they emphasizing farm-grown? Is that supposed to make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside? There are some wonderful farms, and some farms do horrible things to the environment (and the food they grow). Which kind of farm did these potatoes come from?

Yes friends, these are the kind if thoughts that fill me head most days. I'm so glad I have all of you to occassionally inspire me to deeper things.

-- Posted from my iPhone

The power of music

Yesterday's Hyacinths post got me thinking about the power of music. Today I'm sharing a clip from my favorite opera where music causes us to share in a character's despair and determination, and hopefully through that be moved to take action to see that no one else lives through that. Then there is a clip from one of my favorite movies where a character uses music to hold onto beauty and hope, and to avoid despair.

Magda in The Consul is my dream role and this amazing aria is one of the reasons I love this opera. The other reason I love it is because it is real. Yes, these characters are fictional, but the things they face are not. No specific time or place is given as the setting. It was written during the Cold War, but this story is still happening all over the world. Politics and bureaucracies and petty differences keep us from seeing that real people, real lives are at stake. Magda ends the aria with these words: "Oh! the day will come, I know, when our hearts aflame will burn your paper chains. Warn the Consul, Secretary, warn him. That day neither ink nor seal shall cage our souls. That day will come."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIB9cGlLkm0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

The next clip is from Shawshank Redemption and pretty much explains itself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKPVDjEkC0c&feature=youtube_gdata_player
-- Posted from my iPhone

Hyacinths

I brought my laptop home, but somehow left the power cord at school, so I'm blogging from my phone again. When I get to a real computer, I'll embed the YouTube videos or change them to links. For now, just do the old -fashioned cut-and-paste into your browser.

My mom enjoys spending time making her home beautiful. As you know if you've ever been to my house, I'm a total failure in that department. It's not that I don't want a beautiful home, it's just that I don't want to spend the time and money to do it. I was explaining this to my mom and she quoted one if her favorite poems.

"If, of thy mortal goods, thou art bereft,
And from thy slender store two loaves
alone to thee are left,
Sell one & from the dole,
Buy Hyacinths to feed the soul"
-Muslihuddin Sadi,
13th Century Persian Poet

I love the idea. We all need beauty in our lives and nourishing our souls through beauty is as important as nourishing our bodies with food. But, I'm a bread addict, and hyacinths can cause irritation to people like me with sensitive skin.

Seriously though, being able to see and experience beauty is essential to our well being. My house might not be beautiful, but I see beauty every day. I have to be really careful about driving at sunset, because sometimes I get so caught up in the breath-taking view that I forget to pay attention to driving. I'll pull over at random times to take pictures of trees or flowers. I crave beauty and I have to get me fix every day.

Here are 3 of my "hyacinths" from this week. OK, to be honest, it hasn't just been this week. These are songs I come back to frequently. The ending of the first one brings me to tears every time. The other two are definitely in the top ten most beautiful songs ever written. These songs speak to me. They tear at my soul and make me feel whether I want to or not. They may not have the same effect on you, but find the songs, or the art, or whatever beauty that exists that makes you feel something beyond yourself and keep it close for those times when you need "hyacinths".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC0qzrGA0MI&feature=youtube_gdata_player

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQZep0kWD9Y&feature=youtube_gdata_player

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfXJ72qZftA&feature=youtube_gdata_player




-- Posted from my iPhone

10 things I've Never Done

Today a friend posted something on Facebook and said something like "it was even more awesome than hp7.2." I wondered what new computer/software/gadget release I had missed. A few hours later I figured it out--the new Harry Potter movie. Most of my "cool" friends either went to the midnight showing or will see it this weekend. I've never been to a movie on opening weekend. Usually I wait until it's at the cheap theatre or on DVD. If I do make it while it's at the first run theatre it's usually a few weeks into the showing and there are at most 20 of us in the theatre. I don't like crowds, and I don't function well enough late at night to ever enjoy a midnight movie. And all that got me thinking about things that most of my friends do quite regularly that I've never done. So here's my list of 10 things, and no, my life is not empty or pathetic without them. I'm quite happy, thank you.

1. I've never been to the midnight opening of a movie.
2. I've never been to a rock concert. (The closest I've been to anything like that has been concerts by Linda Eder, Mandy Patinkin, and Riders in the Sky. BTW, those were three separate concerts, they didn't all perform together, although that would definitely be interesting.)
3. I've never been to Disneyland or Disneyworld.
4. I've never been to NYC to see shows.
5. I've never been to LDS General Conference in Salt Lake City.
6. I've never had a desire to sing in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (but it is pretty awesome to have friends in the choir.)
7. I've never had any piercings; even my ears are unpierced.
8. I've never dyed my hair (but I did use colored hair gel and had numerous perms in the 80's.)
9. I've never been to Mexico.
10. I have never even come close to using all the minutes and texts allowed on my cell phone plan (and I have the cheapest plan available.)
Bonus one--I've never spelled theatre with er at the end instead of re. Call me a snob and maybe a movie place should be er, but if it has a stage, it deserves the best, most proper spelling.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Learning at my own pace

I very clearly remember that when I was in elementary school I really wished I could go to a school where I could learn at my own pace. There were many areas where I felt held back by the other kids who were progressing at an average rate. There were also some things that I wanted and needed more time on to feel like I really knew and understood.

As a student, and as a teacher I have been frustrated by deadlines. "All students should master these skills by this date" just doesn't work for me. Voice lessons gives me a little more freedom to help the student see that the journey is more important than the destination, but still I have to deal with getting kids ready for an audition or contest by a certain date. And these kids really want to do these things.

I have had several students over the years with sincere desire and a great work ethic that simply are not yet vocally ready for what they want to do. And it's not their fault or mine. They will get there eventually, but probably long after these current opportunities have passed.

It's not just school where we see this. Even at church, there is the pressure of a "deadline". We are reminded to always put things in an eternal perspective (in the big picture, does it really matter that your friend got in the musical and you didn't), but at the same time, we get one lifetime to get it together, and if you don't, too bad for you for all of eternity. Sometimes it makes me want to believe in reincarnation where I keep getting chances until I get it right.

I don't have a solution for learning at your own pace in formal education or religion, but I have found a wonderful gift in Tai Chi. I have found a place where I can learn and grow as fast or as slow as I need to. There is no perfection in Tai Chi. There is always something to work on and improve. How many new moves we learn may be dictated by how quickly the class is picking up on it, but there is no piece of paper stating that we must get to such and such a point by a certain date. And if the overall learning pace is slower than mine, then I can use the extra repetitions to take it to a deeper level. I never feel like I am wasting time or being held back. If the overall pace of the class is a little faster than mine, then I do the best I can to get the overall shape and know that I will have time to improve later. I am not articulating this well, but what I'm trying to say is that for the first time in my life, I am really enjoying something (and hopefully improving too) without the pressure of deadlines or competition or having to be perfect. I'm simply doing what is right for me right now. And it's wonderful.



-- Posted from my iPhone

Nerd Alert

I put up wallpaper today. Kind of. It's paper and it's on the wall, but it's not for the purpose of beautifying my home. In fact, I had to take down 3 nice pictures to put up the paper. It's kind of a long story, but here's the short version: I am a major nerd.

Read on if you are not surprised by that and would like more details.

In the fall of 2003, my friend announced at bookgroup that she would not be attending the next meeting because she would be participating in NaNoWriMo and trying to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. It sounded fun, but I put it in the "not for me right now" pile and let it go. But it didn't let me go. On November 10, I registered and then went on to win. (That means I wrote more than 50,000 words.) Also, although there are gaps that I need to fill in, I finished the novel in the sense that I got to the end of the story. Kind of.

It has a great ending, but one that begs for a sequel. So...since 2003, I've written big chunks of 4 more novels in this series, plus 2 short stories, plus a few pages of 2 more stories (or maybe they'll turn out to be novels too), and I have ideas that I want to explore in at least 7 more stories or books.

A couple years ago I was involved in a writing group. Several people in this group have since had stories or novels published. I had a great time and enjoyed being with them, but I couldn't really get excited about preparing my novel for publication. I decided that I didn't want to take the fun out of writing. It fed my soul, and I needed that, not the grueling and stressful acts of editing, rewriting, and revising. Granted, it may that I'm just too lazy to do the hard part of the writing process. But the point is, I decided to just keep exploring this world and these characters. I mentioned at one meeting that maybe I'm not writing several novels. Maybe I'm doing the world building for one major epic that would make James Michener's best look like a little book. Today, I'm pretty sure it's not just one book. I'm also pretty sure that I'm still exploring and trying to figure out the answers. There are questions that arise in the 2nd book, that every subsequent book or story has been trying to answer. I've found a few answers, but the characters are still revealing their world to me. And more questions arise with each new story.

My writing is not autobiographical, but my characters deal with situations and issues that I am dealing with at the time. In the first book, Holly struggles with pain, frustration and depression that are closely linked to her work and her gifts. I wrote that at a very difficult point in my life. If I had an awful day, I would come home, sit at the computer, and give Holly something even worse to deal with. Writing about her struggles helped me cope with my own. I found peace when she did. My roommate commented on how happy I was because of the writing.

This crazy bunch of stories about this world and these people keep calling to me. Some years I've written other novels for nano, but these people won't let me go. I can't go more than a year or so without at least rereading and jotting down notes for where I want to go in the future.

That's what the "wallpaper" is for. I have notes saved on my phone; I have a notebook with spidergraphs and lists; and of course, I have the stories themselves. But I need to be able to see it all at once--to put all these people and events on a time line, to draw line connecting people and describing relationships. And the best notes on a computer will not do that. (and I hate flipping back and forth between a million different pages) To be honest, I don't think the hall wall is big enough, but I need to rearrange the bedroom and move furniture in order to use the big wall there. Since I still haven't finished the closet cleaning project yet, I'm going to wait on the rearranging. The hall will give me a place for a first draft and I can always copy or enlarge later.

I guess it's better than giant posters of the blueprints for the Enterprise (which I think are totally cool, but I would never decorate with them), but I think a wall of story notes definitely earns me nerdom.

-- Posted from my iPhone