We Can Change

Often in the scriptures, we read about prophets or others that were told by God to "cry repentance". I've always read that as "Go tell them all the things they are doing wrong, and that they'd better change or else." History shows that unfortunately I was not the only person that read it that way. I chose to just avoid missionary work, but others in their zeal have committed great atrocities and called it "crying repentance." No wonder they stoned the prophets.

Now, in all fairness, not everyone responded to the command this way. There are some wonderful, loving, kind people who work hard to share what they believe is the truth.

Today at church, a scripture that I've heard probably hundreds of times was read, and I had a light bulb moment. What if God meant "Tell them that it gets better. Tell them that change is possible."?

What would happen if that was the message that people were sharing instead of saying, "You are a sinner because you (fill in the blank)"?

What if we looked for people that were hurting and asked what we could do to help them move forward, rather than finding someone who is committing a "sin" and telling them to quit being evil?

I've always had a strong belief in the ability of people to make positive changes in their lives. Though most statistics disagree, I believe that given the right support, criminals can change and become productive citizens. I believe that the mistakes of our past don't condemn us to walk that path forever. We can change. And that is what repentance means, refining and redefining who we are and who we want to be.

And that is the Gospel according to Jeannine.




-- Posted from my iPhone

Switching to Self-preservation Mode

Although the end of January and early February is usually a relatively calm time in my life, somehow this year I've managed to get myself extremely overcommitted. I have 5 new students, plus one that is returning after a break. That is awesome because I need the money, but scheduling them has been a little tricky, especially with the new Tai Chi classes I'm taking. I also have several students recording videos for a competition and I told them I would accompany them. That adds practice time for me, plus recording time to my schedule. Then there is this faculty recital that I have been pushing for for years, so I can't really back out. I'm singing two solos and the big ensemble piece that all of us are doing. I know the rep, but I'm still recovering from an illness (or several) that started on Jan. 1. I've got a lesson to give in church tomorrow, and a convention committee meeting on Friday that I need to do some major preparation for. Yesterday I thought my head was going to explode, so I came home from work, had some chocolate, did some Tai Chi and Qigong and went to bed early. Because of not being able to breathe well, coughing, and probably the chocolate, last night was a series of bizarre nightmares.

Anyway...I'm switching into self-preservation mode so I can make it through to Feb. 4, when I can begin stressing over a whole other set of issues. Self-preservation mode helps me survive, but sometimes the people around me don't appreciate it much. The thing is, if I don't take care of me right now, the things other people need and want from me won't be done well anyway. So, if I say no,or don't get something done according to your timeline, know that in the long run, it really is for the best.

Self-preservation mode means:
1. Being at work ready to give focused attention to my students, but not going to get them from choir or study halls if they forget to come. If they don't make the effort to come to me, I can fill that time in many other ways.
2. Not opening extra times for makeup lessons beyond the usual hours I am at school.
3. Saying no to extra events and responsibities.
4. Making Tai Chi a priority because it helps me mentally and physically.
5. Not feeling guilty about a messy house, because right now I need rest more than I need a clean house.
6. Making sure I get plenty of water and protein, and limiting sugar.
7. Keeping track of deadlines.
8. Being OK with just doing what is absolutely necessary at the moment and letting the rest wait.

I will get through this. I have before, and will likely have many situations like this to deal with in the future. Be patient with me, and all will work out in the end.




-- Posted from my iPhone

Families

Some people say that the our society is at risk because we are not doing enough to defend families. I completely agree with that basic premise, but disagree about what it means to defend and protect families.

Families come in many sizes, shapes, and colors. Some families

• have a mother and father and children.
• are genetically related.
• have the same color of skin.
• live in the same home.
• are recognized as families by the churches they attend.
• are recognized as families by the governments of their countries.

But none of those things defines a family. The idea of family that I am trying to defend is more than that. The family I want to defend is not the one that is an accident of birth, but the one that we choose through love. Love, pure and simple, makes a family. And a family teaches us to love.

Here are some examples of real-life families:

• A woman I know has only a single sister, and no biological or adopted brothers. But she does have 2 brothers--brothers that she chose to love and make a part of her life. Brothers that have stood with her as she has gone through some very difficult situations in her life. She has no legal ties to them, but the ties of love are as strong as those that tie her to her biological relatives.
• A friend has a biological child that she is raising with her same-sex partner. The state they live in doesn't recognize her partner as the child's mother, but that doesn't mean that they aren't a family. The love in that home is amazing.
• Another friend has both biological children and children that she and her husband have legally adopted. And those adopted children are so much a natural part of their family, that I sometimes forget that they are adopted.
• My father was raised by a man who is technically his step-father. One day my brother asked Dad about his "real" father. I will never forget his response. His "real" father is the man that raised him. Real and biological are not the same.

The family is in danger. But the danger is not from people who want families that are different from our own. The danger is from people that claim to be families, but haven't yet learned and chosen to love.

So how do we defend the family? Choose love. Love and support those around you who are trying to make their families work. And remember, to change the world, we must change first ourselves, then our families, and then our communities.

There is more than one right way

Cancer sucks. I don't think many people would disagree with me about that. Today it would be difficult to find someone whose life has not been touched by cancer, either their own or that of a friend or family member. During 2011, I watched, mostly from the sidelines, as 3 dear women dealt with their cancer.

One very young mother's life was cut short when she died from her cancer just days after giving birth. She fought to stay alive to give her child a chance and when the baby was born, she let go.

Another woman was pressured into treatment she didn't want, and that she hated. She didn't want to hear people's stories of encouragement and hope. She wanted somebody to let her know that they hated it too. She didn't want to believe that she was alone in what she was experiencing.

For the third woman, battling cancer for the third time, there was no option but to fight. She would use every resource in her power against the enemy. And she would win. There was never any doubt.

I know that I have oversimplified their stories, but I hope I have not misrepresented their journeys. The truth of the matter is that I didn't know what to say or do. I occasionally sent a message of encouragement, but how much of that was for my own comfort instead of theirs? What is the right way to deal with cancer when you have it? What is the right way to help a friend with cancer?

From the comfort and safety of my own living room, I submit to you that there is no one right way, for the patients or those that care about and for them.

I don't have cancer, but I do have a chronic condition that is sometimes a real pain in the butt. The woman who has kicked cancer's butt 3 times used to get really frustrated with me because I chose to see my limitations and try to find ways to work within those rather than fighting like hell to get over them. And that frustrated me. Even then, I knew that that wasn't the way this was supposed to work in my life. I've chosen to see my health issues as a friend. I'm not so sure that I love that friend, but I value that friend. It reminds me of what is really important to me and helps me to keep trying to find some sort of balance in my life.

Four different health stories. Four different journeys. Four different woman who may have been hurt by someone who thought they should take another path.

As I said yesterday, I think we need to learn to speak up, to tell our own stories, to share our experiences and insights. But we also need to listen to those around us and if they feel they need something different, to help them find that, not force what we do or what we want upon them. Telling the fighter to love her disease and see what messages it was bringing her might have not just annoyed her, but it might also have kept her from beating it. I think I should still tell her what has helped me, and what I would choose, but then I need to respect her and what works for her and support her in that.

And, I think this post just isn't about dealing with cancer. It's about dealing with life. Whether you believe it or not, I choose to believe that there is more than one right way.

-- Posted from my iPhone

God is a Scientist

I realize that I may be in the minority in my belief here, but I'm going to state it anyway. I do believe in God and miracles. And, I also believe that there are natural laws within which even God must work. God is god because he understand those laws and how to work with them. Miracles are simply God applying advanced science.

I believe that God created the heavens and the earth, and evolution may very well have been part of the process he used. I don't take the 7 days of creation literally.

I believe that there have been many great miracles, and that miracles continue today, and miracles will continue in the future. I also know that if a person from even just a few hundred years ago got hold of my iPhone, they would declare it either a miracle or black magic. To us, it is just really cool technology. We don't necessarily understand it all, but we accept that it is science. Medical science is full of miracles.

Calling a miracle science does not make it any less miraculous or make our dependence on God any less important. I have a little theory (and when you get right down to the details of the science of it, there may be a few holes, but I like it anyway.)

God told Joshua to march his people around Jericho and then to have them blow the ram's horn and then shout with a great shout. Resonance is when a vibrating body causes sympathetic vibrations in another body. The myth about the soprano shattering glass is not a myth. It can happen under the right circumstances. Have you heard the windows rattle when someone is stomping around in the house? The energy of that motion doesn't stay in the place of the stomp. So, I think resonance brought down the walls of Jericho. If it really happened this way, does that mean it wasn't a miracle? No. The miracle comes from the fact that Joshua didn't know the science, but he knew he could trust the Lord. He did what he was told and the walls fell.

I believe in a god that is all-powerful, but I believe His power comes from knowledge and wisdom.

Speak up

I was asked to give a lesson at church based on the information the Elder L. Tom Perry presented in his October 2011 General Conference address, "Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear." I love the scripture that the title references, so I was excited to do this, until I read it, and remembered that it was really all about missionary work. Not my favorite topic. But I'll do it. (The lesson that is. We'll see about the missionary work.)

In a recent address at BYU-I, Elder Quinton L. Cook encouraged those in attendance to work with other religious groups to strengthen the moral and religious principles of our country. An article in the Church News reporting on the event said,

One of the reasons the attack on the moral or religious principles has been so successful is because of the reluctance of people of faith to express their views, he said. That is why it is so important for individuals to actively participate in speaking up.

This post is not about missionary work or politics. But it is about something that both men addressed: the need to speak up and to share who we are and what we believe.

It's not easy. Sometimes people we really care about will have other views or beliefs. And that's OK. That's the way it should be. But right now in the world, we seem to have fallen into an "I'm right and you're wrong" mentality that makes true dialogue nearly impossible. So rather than risk either offending someone, or being offended by their response, sometimes we (and I mean me) say nothing. What is wrong with saying what we believe and being open to the fact that we might learn something from listening to what someone else thinks?

Saying nothing means that our voices are not heard. Saying nothing means that someone else may share our thoughts and feelings, but never be brave enough to say it, because no one else seems to think or feel that way. Sometimes we need one person to say it and start the ball rolling and then like-minded individuals come out of the woodwork. Take for example this post. The author struggled to write it. He worried about offending people. And maybe some were offended, but many were touched and some were healed by what he had to say. What you have to say is important. Never forget that.

I was trying to be serious in this post, but this keeps popping into my head. The message is good. And yes, I'm brave enough to say that I like Barry Manilow. Now quit laughing, and either watch the video or skip ahead to the next part.

Sometimes we are afraid to say things because we don't want others to see us as less than perfect. And then someone else sits alone wondering why their life is so messed up when everyone around them is perfect. By sharing who we are and what we feel and what we believe, we build bridges to others, helping them to feel not so alone. And since I already put in one song, we might as well have another, a beautiful message written by one of the greats and sung here by a wonderful interpreter.

What I took from Elders Cook and Perry is that in order to be true to myself, I need to take chances and speak up about who I am and what I believe, even if it is scary sometimes. So, I'm starting a new blog series (which will probably have all of one entry, like most of my other series ideas. Or maybe not). Stay tuned for the first installment.