Choices

I follow a couple of blogs that are beautifully written, are clear and concise, and almost always share profound ideas. It's hard not to feel intimidated. I started a blog earlier, trying to make what I had to say into something profound for my readers, but it just wasn't working. I've also realized that this blog isn't so much about what my readers need as it is about what I need to say. Maybe noone will ever read it. That's OK. This is about me expressing and opening up to the world about what I think and experience. So now, on to the real post.

Sometimes choices are easy, like when one is obviously good and another is obviously bad and you're not tempted by the bad one at all. But most choices in life aren't like that. Even the ones that are obviously good or bad often have extenuating circumstances attached.

Sometimes a choice must be made and no option seems like the right one. We have to examine all the possibilities and choose the one that will cause the least damage, that will hurt others the least.

Sometimes a choice must be made between things that are good and right. These are the hardest, for me at least. For the last several weeks I have had to daily choose to do 1 of 3 things when I really want and need to do them all. They are not even things that I can choose to rotate. They all have to happen every day or I can't cope physically and emotionally with all that is thrown at me. But lately, it's getting hard to do even one. Yes, I've tried a little of each, but that doesn't seem to work either, so everyday, based on the circumstances of that day, I have to decide if I want to rest, exercise, or practice my singing. Maybe this seems trivial and not all that important to you, but it is to me.

Singing is not only related to my profession, but it feeds my soul. There are days that are bleak and depressing, but my through my practice time, I am able to find peace and experience beauty. I leave a better and happier person.

Exercise is also daily must in my life. Because of my fibromyalgia and other health issues, it is essential that I exercise every day. If I don't, I have more pain, more tension, and more fatigue. I also need exercise to balance my brain chemistry. When I don't exercise I have more anxiety, depression, and I'm far more easily annoyed at little things that I should be able to let go.

Fibromyalgia has as one of its symptoms/causes poor sleep. When the body doesn't get the rest it needs, there is more pain and generally more of all the other not so wonderful symptoms. So sleep and not pushing myself to hard is also important. How am I supposed to choose?

I know that part of what I am to learn in this life is how to choose wisely and move toward balance. I don't really think that there are right/wrong answers to most things that we must choose between. I think it's like the Kobayashi Maru test (from Star Trek), a no-win scenario. The test isn't about win or lose, it's about how you perform under pressure, what choices you make when there is no right way. I think that the only true failure is in not trying. So I keep doing the best I can, and hopefully something good will eventually come from it.