I was originally going to post important events in chronological order, but the more I reviewed the year, the more it made sense to cover major topics rather than individual events.
Current Events
As I mentioned earlier, in many ways it was difficult year. Very real injustices threatened the peace and happiness of people I cared about. My heart broke as I read story after story about racism, suicide, poverty, homelessness, sexism, and the inequalities of the current immigration system. My heart broke again as I watched people I thought I knew say and do things that made the other side the enemy. But in 2014, I also decided that I could no longer be quiet. My personal blogs became much more about the issues that filled my new feed. I still couldn't really talk about those things or take action like I wanted to, but by writing, I was no longer silent. It was the first step in making a difference.Blogging
I didn't write many blog posts this year, and my book and voice blogs were neglected, but the blog posts I did write were longer, more heartfelt, and I shared them with many more people. I was also invited to join the Exploring Sainthood blog team where you can read a post from me about once a month. It's been a little scary. Writing my own blog is basically publishing my journal. Writing for a group blog puts the pressure on. It needs to be about something that others will want to read about. It's a challenge, but one that I'm really looking forward to. My next post goes up on Friday. I think it is the best one so far. I hope you like it too.Photography
There was pain this year, but there was also beauty. In the spring I went a little nuts with all the flower pictures. I seriously would just be driving down the street and pull over to take pictures of the flowers or trees that I saw. You can see some of them here. For the record, I have absolutely no qualifications as a photographer. I just see pretty things and try to take decent pictures with my iPhone 3GS. Don't laugh.Reading
I haven't been a great reader this year (other than news, FB, and blogs), but I have read some amazing books. You can read some reviews on my book blog. Not all the books I read this year were reviewed or even listed on the blog, but you can see a little of what I've been reading. Over Winter Break, I finished reading Healing the Heart of Democracy by Parker J. Palmer. I haven't blogged about it yet, but it is a must read. I loved it. The only thing I didn't love is that I read a library copy so I couldn't highlight things and write in the margins. I finished reading Inferno by Dan Brown on the plane ride home, and just started Anne Lammott's Small Victories. I hope to finish that today. Other highly recommended books from this year are Making Music and Enriching Lives, Faith, The Good Heart: A Buddhist Perspective on the Teachings of Jesus, and Crucible of Doubt. You'll also find these titles in the current reading pile: The Private Voice Studio Handbook (new edition, plus I'd like to re-read the old edition and compare), the Tao Te Ching (several translations including this one), and various essays and poems. Plus, I have 2 books waiting for me at the library and 3 more on order. I'm definitely getting back to reading in 2015.NaNoWriMo
I did participate in NaNoWriMo in November, but decided to do it as a rebel, which basically means I did something other than write one piece of fiction that was 50,000 or more. For the last several years, I've had to do most of my writing on the weekends, but this year I knew that my first 3 weekends of the month were full of music and tai chi events. I decided to count everything I wrote: blogs, long Facebook posts, and continuing the story I've been working on for a couple of years now. I did most of my 20,000 words over Thanksgiving Break. I didn't make 50,000 word goal this year, but I moved the story forward and I did a lot of other writing. Someday, I'll actually finish these novels and publish them, but don't hold your breath. There are details of the plot of the early books that I haven't quite figured out yet, but each year I live in that world, I learn more and the details come together more. In fact, just last week, I learned that the number 8 represents rebirth, resurrection, or a new beginning. That ties perfectly into the part of Holly 2 (don't I have exciting titles) that I couldn't figure out before.Lost Things
After a big event this fall at school, I discovered that my phone, my debit card, and my credit card were missing. Nothing else was missing from my purse, but it seemed very strange that those 3 things had disappeared at the same time. I'm famous for misplacing things, so I didn't panic right away. I looked at home. I looked at school. I looked in my car. Then I panicked. The good news is that I got to meet the new police officer at the school when I went in to see if anyone had turned anything in. He was very helpful and introduced me to Find My iPhone. It didn't help me find it, because it showed that it was still at school, but I did learn that you can have your lost phone make a sound (which didn't work for me because the battery was dead), you can leave a message on the screen in case someone finds it (again, no good with a dead battery), and you can lock people out of the phone. That was really helpful. I also learned how to suspend my cell phone service, and I canceled those cards and requested new ones. Then I found the phone and cards under the seat of my car. I thought I had looked there, but apparently, I didn't feel just the right spot under the seat. It was a good learning experience, but not one that I hope to repeat.Other losses
June was a hard month. In early June, feminist and questioning Mormons received a blow when Kate Kelly and John Dehlin release the information that they were facing church courts and possible excommunication. Coming, as it it did, on the heels of the Utah same-sex marriage nightmare, it hit me harder than I expected it to. I recovered a little, only to be hurt again when Kate actually was excommunicated later in the month. Comments from members and from the church PR team hurt more than helped. I decided I needed to step away for a little bit to let my wounds heal. I emailed my bishop about my decision and he wanted to meet with me to discuss it. I agreed, and we set up a time.Then I got the news that my friend Elizabeth Bossard had died suddenly. I didn't really have the money to go to the funeral, but she was family. I had to go. And I needed the closure and the healing. Going home for the funeral reminded me of the Power of One, that love knows no boundaries of time or space, and that those we disagree with at times can still be wonderful sources of strength.
Voice Teaching Stuff
Now that my two primary teachers and mentors (Elizabeth and Glenda) are gone, it's my turn to continue the legacy. I began to really own what I believe about the teaching of singing. I'm certainly not a carbon copy of either of them, but I've taken the best things and made them my own. I spend every summer planning and revising materials and becoming a better teacher. I owe it to them. I owe it to my students. And I owe it to me.One of the new things for my studio this year is the Practice Challenge. Not many students have participate, and I haven't done as well at promoting it as I had hoped to, but I'm going to keep it, with some revisions for the future.
I presented again at the MMTA convention in June 2014. My session was on sight-reading, and I've been asked to do a modified version of it for a local association next month. In preparation for the session, I learned how to use Finale and Power Point. I've also been asked to repeat my "Tai Chi and Singing" session at the 2015 convention. Plus, I get to give my Foundations of Singing workshop that I've only done a couple of times, but love. I have a lot of planning and work to do on those in the next few months.
Tai Chi
This has been a big year for tai chi. I've been a teaching assistant for my teacher for a few years now, but as her schedule expanded this fall, so did mine. Other people who had planned to be teaching assistants were unable to do so, so I picked up an extra evening of class. When classes resume in Feburary, I'll be the teaching assistant for classes on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday. That's a lot of tai chi. She understands my limits because of my full time job and health, so I don't have to be to every class every week if it gets to be too much. I appreciate that. I'm just going to see what happens. If I feel well enough to do tai chi, the classes actually help me feel even better. They also help me deal with stress in more positive ways.I received a scholarship to attend Dr. Lam's weeklong workshop in June 2015. I'm also going the weekend before for another teacher training workshop. It will be wonderful, but exhausting, so I'm planning my next several months very carefully so that I can be in the best shape possible, mentally and physically.
I've also started doing tai chi workshops and demonstrations. I was invited to talk to a stroke support group earlier this year and had a great time with them. As I mentioned earlier, I've been invited to give my "Tai Chi and Singing" workshop again at MMTA Convention. Plus I'll be doing a Seated Tai Chi break-out session at our World Tai Chi and Qigong Day Celebration. WTCQD is celebrated all over the world, and I'll be at the event organized by local Tai Chi for Health teachers. Everyone is invited, so watch my Facebook page for announcements about the event.
I'm working towards becoming a senior trainer for the Tai Chi for Health Institute. There are still several requirements to fill, but by the end of 2015, I should be much closer to this goal. In the meantime, there is a lot of work to be done. I start teaching my own Beginning Sun Style Tai Chi class in January, and in June, I hope to bring a brand new program to the Twin Cities: Tai Chi for Rehabilitation. As a senior trainer wanna be, I also get to help with organizing our World Tai Chi and Qigong Day in April, Tai Chi for Arthritis trainings and updates in May and November, monthly Skill Builder workshops, summer depth workshops, and a possible repeat of our fundraiser for Apparent Plan. Our November fundraiser was a big success and a great community builder and we're hoping to continue with that. I was the Bake Sale chair and now that I've already discovered all the possible problems, it should be easier next time around.
Health
Some thing related to health have been pretty good this year. Although I've gone off it a few times, I'm finding that a gluten-free diet helps me to feel a lot better. Lots of tai chi classes, plus workouts at the gym a couple of times a week help keep me moving and prevent lymph congestion (which can be quite painful). I'm not doing the detox referred to in this article, but the rest of the information is good if you want to know more about what I deal with. Reducing stress and gluten, and exercising more has made my life much better. I know that I also am sensitive to chocolate, sugar, and milk. I had reduced my usage of all of those quite a bit, but then the stress and grief hit and I coped by eating. Ben and Jerry's made a lot of money from my purchases this year.I got sick in August and didn't really get better until early November. Part of it was asthma related, but it was also stress and anxiety related. In total I had one Emergency Room visit, and four doctor appointments. Luckily, the really expensive meds helped me meet my deductible, so most of the doctor visits were covered by my insurance and I only had to pay 20%. Still, seeing the amounts due on my doctor bills was enough to increase my anxiety level. We increased one of my current meds that helps with anxiety, I'm doing more tai chi and deep breathing exercises, I'm now taking Zantac as needed for stomach acid issues, and I have a few Ativan for emergencies (but those emergencies can only be when I don't have to drive or form coherent thoughts.) I'm doing better and I have my healthy coping strategies ready for whatever 2015 brings my way.
Church and Spirituality
Pope Francis gave me many moments of holy envy this year. What an incredible human being!
I'm picking up little bits and pieces of truth and light from many different sources. And I'm seeing beauty again, even with all the turmoil in the world.
As I mentioned here and here, I've been attending Unity Church-Unitarian since September. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I actually want to go to church. The words inspire and challenge me. The music is amazing. The people and the architecture make me feel safe and warm.
I don't know if this is a long-term change for me or not. I've decided to attend until summer and see where it leads me. Right now, I know that it is where I need to be. The experiences I'm having there are helping me to reframe a lot of issues. I'm a better person after services there, and the world is a more beautiful place. I've been back to my LDS ward a few time, and I may go a few more over the next several months. We'll see what happens. The important thing is that I'm not trying to hide anything anymore. I think that was part of what caused the anxiety and health issues. I wasn't really hiding or denying anything, but I didn't know how to talk to people about where I was and what I was experiencing. Even with my blogs, there was this fog I couldn't get through because I didn't want to hurt anyone. But I was hurting me.
Moving Forward
This year, I shared a lot of music, poetry, and other words that inspired me. Now as the year ends, I think these best sum up where I am and where I am headed.The words are fairly easy to understand in the video, but if you want to read them, you can find them here.
Invocation / Benediction by Joanna Brooks
Father, Mother, help me piece together the contradictions of my life:
White cotton, red satin, brown polka dot; torn Sunday dress, Navajo rug, frayed baby blanket.
Make me insistent on every lonely shred, willing to sacrifice no one.
Where there is no pattern, God, give me courage to organize a fearsome beauty.
Where there is unraveling, let me draw broad blanket stitches of sturdy blue yarn.
Mother, Father, give me vision.Manifesto: Let us be Women who Love
Give me strength to work hours past my daughters’ bedtime.
Give me an incandescent all-night garage with a quorum of thimble-thumbed
grandmothers sitting on borrowed folding chairs.
We will gather all the lost scraps and stitch them together;
A quilt big enough to warm all our generations: all the lost, found, rich, poor, good, bad, in, out, old, new, country, city, dusty, shiny ones;
A quilt big enough to cover all the alfalfa fields in the Great Basin.
Bigger. We are piecing together a quilt with no edges.
God, make me brave enough to love my people.
How wonderful it is to have a people to love.
Let us be women who Love. Let us be women willing to lay down our sword words, our sharp looks, our ignorant silence and towering stance and fill the earth now with extravagant Love.
Let us be women who Love.Let us be women who make room.
Let us be women who open our arms and invite others into an honest, spacious, glorious embrace.
Let us be women who carry each other.Let us be women who give from what we have.
Let us be women who leap to do the difficult things, the unexpected things and the necessary things.
Let us be women who live for Peace.
Let us be women who breathe Hope.
Let us be women who create beauty.
Let us be women who Love.
Let us be a sanctuary where God may dwell.Let us be a garden for tender souls.
Let us be a table where others may feast on the goodness of God.
Let us be a womb for Life to grow.
Let us be women who Love.
Let us rise to the questions of our time.Let us speak to the injustices in our world.
Let us move the mountains of fear and intimidation.
Let us shout down the walls that separate and divide.
Let us fill the earth with the fragrance of Love.
Let us be women who Love.
Let us listen for those who have been silenced.Let us honour those who have been devalued.
Let us say, Enough! with abuse, abandonment, diminishing and hiding.
Let us not rest until every person is free and equal.
Let us be women who Love.
Let us be women who are savvy, smart and wise.Let us be women who shine with the light of God in us.
Let us be women who take courage and sing the song in our hearts.
Let us be women who say, Yes to the beautiful, unique purpose seeded in our souls.
Let us be women who call out the song in another’s heart.
Let us be women who teach our children to do the same.
Let us be women who Love.
Let us be women who Love, in spite of fear.Let us be women who Love, in spite of our stories.
Let us be women who Love loudly, beautifully, Divinely.
Let us be women who Love.
And lastly, this from Joyce DiDonato's Commencement Address at Juilliard:
The world needs you. Now, the world may not exactly realize it, but wow, does it need you. It is yearning, starving, dying for you and your healing offer of service through your Art. We need you to help us understand that which is bigger than ourselves, so that we can stop feeling so small, so isolated, so helpless that, in our fear, we stop contributing that which is unique to us: that distinct, rare, individual quality which the world is desperately crying out for and eagerly awaiting. We need you to remind us what unbridled, unfiltered, childlike exuberance feels like, so we remember, without apology or disclaimer, to laugh, to play, to FLY and to stop taking EVERYTHING so damn seriously. We need you to remind us what empathy is by taking us deep into the hearts of those who are, God forbid, different than us – so that we can recapture the hope of not only living in peace with each other, but THRIVING together in a vibrant way where each of us grows in wonder and joy. We need you to make us feel an integral PART of a shared existence through the communal, universal, forgiving language of music, of dance, of poetry and Art – so that we never lose sight of the fact that we are all in this together and that we are all deserving of a life that overflows with immense possibility, improbable beauty and relentless truth.
Happy New Year! 2015 is going to be a great one!
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