Families

Some people say that the our society is at risk because we are not doing enough to defend families. I completely agree with that basic premise, but disagree about what it means to defend and protect families.

Families come in many sizes, shapes, and colors. Some families

• have a mother and father and children.
• are genetically related.
• have the same color of skin.
• live in the same home.
• are recognized as families by the churches they attend.
• are recognized as families by the governments of their countries.

But none of those things defines a family. The idea of family that I am trying to defend is more than that. The family I want to defend is not the one that is an accident of birth, but the one that we choose through love. Love, pure and simple, makes a family. And a family teaches us to love.

Here are some examples of real-life families:

• A woman I know has only a single sister, and no biological or adopted brothers. But she does have 2 brothers--brothers that she chose to love and make a part of her life. Brothers that have stood with her as she has gone through some very difficult situations in her life. She has no legal ties to them, but the ties of love are as strong as those that tie her to her biological relatives.
• A friend has a biological child that she is raising with her same-sex partner. The state they live in doesn't recognize her partner as the child's mother, but that doesn't mean that they aren't a family. The love in that home is amazing.
• Another friend has both biological children and children that she and her husband have legally adopted. And those adopted children are so much a natural part of their family, that I sometimes forget that they are adopted.
• My father was raised by a man who is technically his step-father. One day my brother asked Dad about his "real" father. I will never forget his response. His "real" father is the man that raised him. Real and biological are not the same.

The family is in danger. But the danger is not from people who want families that are different from our own. The danger is from people that claim to be families, but haven't yet learned and chosen to love.

So how do we defend the family? Choose love. Love and support those around you who are trying to make their families work. And remember, to change the world, we must change first ourselves, then our families, and then our communities.