I should have seen this coming!

I've probably written this post before, or at least one very similar. And I'll probably write it at least a few more times before I finally quit being so stupid.

Fibromyalgia is my friend. It warns me when I'm doing too much and pushing myself too far. I've been majorly stressed since getting back to work after the holidays. There have just been too many things to do and not enough time and energy. To be honest, there have been a few good days here and there, but sometimes that's not such a good thing as I push myself even harder when I feel well.

Last week was pretty much a full fibromylagia flare up. The pain and tension were way up and the energy was way down. I'm not exactly sure how to describe it to someone that hasn't lived it. It's not just about being tired. Even fatigued doesn't quite describe it. I was so weak that a couple of times I wasn't sure I could walk. I did, but it took a lot of effort. Then there was Wednesday night while I was waiting for my takeout at Noodles. (No time to cook between work and meetings.) All I had to do was stand there and wait. I just about fell over and had to grab the wall to steady myself.

But my fibromylagia flare up isn't what this post is really about. The post is about me being stupid and not listening to my body's cries for rest. I'm on the planning committee for a major event that happens on Feb. 5. (Check out the website at www.voicesofhopemn.org). There were things that had to happen this week. I couldn't just put them off. So I did them. And because I failed to listen to my body's warnings, it had to take more drastic measures. It always does. When I don't listen to the pain and the fatigue and do something about it, my body resorts to its only other option in trying to get me to rest--it lets the germs take over.

Well, I got plenty of rest today because every time I got up to do something I felt like crap. The thing that really annoyed me was that when I was in bed, I didn't feel sick enough to just lie around wasting time. I did manage to accomplish a few things today, but none of the things that really needed to get done. I can probably allow myself most of Sunday to continue recovering, but once Monday hits, I have no choice. I have to work and get this stuff done. There are no times left in the schedule for make up lessons and I can't just refund the money since I really need it. The event will happen whether I get my stuff done or not, but the responsible part of me won't let me drop the ball at this point.

So either I get really healthy with my one more day of rest, or next weekend I'll be really, really sick. Why do I do this?