Accompanists

I've been asked to speak to a group of music teachers in a couple of months about accompanying. I can go any direction I want, but it was suggested that I might want to include training young accompanists. As I considered what I want to talk about, I decided that it might be best to structure my comments using my own musical history.

As I started making a list of people, events, and experiences that helped me to learn to accompany, I made a somewhat unsettling discovery: I received the training and nurturing that I needed as a young accompanist because I went to schools that couldn't afford to hire professional accompanists and coaches, and the church I attended does not hire professional musicians. I was given opportunities as an accompanist because there was no one else to do it.

I now live in an area where schools and churches hire professional musicians. In many ways, this is a good thing. The quality of the performances is better, and musicians are able to make money doing what we have invested a great deal of time and money in learning to do. I believe musicians should be paid, but what opportunities for training the next generation are missed when we hire professionals? Is there a way to hire professionals, maintain a high level of artistry, AND give young people the opportunities they need to learn?

Then the question becomes why should we teach young people to be accompanists? If that is truly the profession they want, there are many wonderful collaborative piano programs at the University level. Do students need collaborative experience prior to college? What about those that won't be pursuing this as a career, those students whose adult musical experiences will be avocational at best? Should we teach them to accompany and if so, why? What purpose will it serve?

Although I do occassionally take an accompanying gig, this is not my main source of income. However, the experiences I have had as an accompanist have shaped who I am as a musician, teacher, and human being.

Here is one small example from my accompanying "career" that changed me in more ways than just making me a better accompanist. Weston Noble is a big name in the choral world, especially here in the Midwest. When I was a student, and the choir accompanist, at Idaho State University, he came for a festival or clinic, or some similar event. I don't really remember the details, but I remember how he changed my life. I've always been really good at "following", but he encouraged me to do more. He taught me to be open to the music and how to work with him collaboratively, not merely follow his beat pattern. I don't really even remember what he said, but it changed the way I viewed the music, the way I viewed the performance experience, and the way I viewed myself. For a big event like that, perhaps they should have brought in someone with better technique and more experience, but I am very glad they didn't. And because they didn't I learned about trust.

I will never play as well as my accompanist/coach. She is amazing. But does that mean that I shouldn't call myself an accompanist or that I shouldn't play for groups or soloist when I am needed? Absolutely not! Yes, we need amazing accompanists and coaches, but there are places in the world where those of us that are just pretty good can do just fine. There are even times when those who doubt their skills can be great.

Watch for future posts as I explore who we should teach to accompany and why.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Surrender

I have to tell you about an amazing woman I talked to today. She has lost over 130 pounds in the last 10 months. That's not the amazing part though. The amazing part is how. Yes, she had bariatric surgery, but that was the last thing she told me about. The focus of our chat was where she thinks the true success came from--total surrender and total obedience. She asked God to take away her desire for food and give her a desire for exercise. And because of her commitment and faith, that has happened.

Surrender was a choice that made sense. She had already chosen it in other areas of her life, and asked herself "why not this too?".

I love the idea of surrender, and I believe it works and can change lives. But, I'm not very good at it. Because I've had to take care of myself for so much of my life,it is really hard to rely on someone else, even God, to take care of me. To trust and let it go is hard. My friend's amazing weight loss is quite an achievement, but I'm more impressed with her surrender, her giving this problem to God and trusting that he will bring about what is best for her. Her faith is amazing and it is motivating, both for her and the people around her. What a great example!




-- Posted from my iPhone

Making a Difference

The August 2010 issue of Minnesota Women's Press (see www.womenspress.com) celebrates the 90th anniversary of women's right to vote. When I learned that it took over 70 years to get the 19th Amendment passed and the work that generations of women did to bring this about, it made me think once again about what I am doing to make a difference in the world. Is it enough? How much longer might it have taken if fewer women had spoken up? How much sooner might we have been given this right if more women had taken a stand?

With a few minor exceptions, I am healthier than I have been in over 20 years. The last several years have been about me focusing on the things that will bring peace and health to my life. I know I can't return to the overcommitted and stressful life I used to live, but is there room in my life to do something more to make a difference?

I love my current job, and don't see myself leaving it in the near future, but it was never my intent to spend my life here. This was a temporary job to pay the bills and help me gain valuable experience. The real dream, and the one that I still see at some point in my future is running my own non-profit arts school where all students, regardless of ability or financial situation, can have a life changing experience with the arts. I've seen a lot of kids miss out on these opportunities simply because there was no money to pay for them. I know teachers that only want to teach the best and the brightest because the are the most fun to teach and they make the teacher look good.

Yes, I do love it when one of my "stars" succeeds, but I know that some of my most rewarding moments as a teacher have been in seeing the growth in those students that some other teachers might label hopeless. And the growth I'm talking about is not just vocal. In my early years as a voice teacher, I had an adult student that was going through some major struggles and life changes. As we worked on a hymn we talked about what those words meant to her, especially with the situations she was dealing with. She chose to sing this song at the recital. Afterwards, an audience member (who is also a voice teacher) told me how touched she had been by this student's performance. Technically, it wasn't the best performance on the program, but because this woman sang from her heart and let us know what she knew, it was the most beautiful performance on the program. That is why I teach--to help students find the beauty and to help them know how to share it.

Last month I had a great talk with a friend, fellow voice teacher, and one of my teachers and mentors about my dream. At that point, I was really in the "I need to do more" mode. She reminded me of how important what I'm doing right now is. The students that I'm teaching now will take the things they learn (whether it is technique, discipline, music appreciation, or any number of things) and use them and share them throughout their lives. She made a difference in my life, and because she did, I am now making a difference in the lives of my students. OK, I will admit that some will leave my studio having changed very little if at all, but whatever influence I do have will continue to echo through generations.

In the past two weeks, I've heard from two different people (that didn't really stand out in my memory) that I had made a difference. They were still using tools that I taught them. Even more than the talk with my friend, these incidents reminded me of the difference I can make, that I do make, every single day.

But the question still remains--Is there more that I can do? Are there bigger issues that I can and should be taking a stand on? When is the right time, both in my life and in the history of the cause for me to become actively involved? Can I simply share what I feel and believe, or do my actions and how I choose to spend my time need to say something about what is important to me? Are rallies, marches, and hunger strikes in my future? How far am I willing to go, what am I willing to risk to make a difference?





-- Posted from my iPhone

To borrow or to buy

Anyone that knows me well knows that I love to read.






Anyone that has ever helped me move knows that I love books. (Strangely, after hauling boxes and boxes of books up and down stairs, these friends find ways to be too busy to help with the next move.)







Anyone that has seen the balance of my bank account knows that I need to limit the number of books I buy. There is no way I could afford to purchase everything I read. But I want to.

The good news is that the universe, my friends, and my family find ways to help me get my hands on those books.

First of all, I am blessed to live in an area with a fabulous library system. Libraries are amazing!
You can spend an afternoon wandering and browsing, or with current technology, you can reserve a book online and they will have it ready for you. You can be in and out in just minutes!

I now use the library for most of my fiction reading. I will occassionally reread a novel, but for most things, once is enough and getting the book from the library saves me a lot of money.

Non-fiction is trickier though, especially if it is something that is related to my work. When I read non-fiction, I like to read with my highlighter ready to mark up anything that is particularly interesting. Librarians don't like that very much! Book collectors and librarians think that books should have pages that are free from markings, food smudges, etc. Being the child of a book collector, I know how to read a book and have it still look brand new when I am done. I also understand the value of a signed or rare edition. As a teacher and learner, I know that the books that have really been understood and enjoyed are the ones that are written all over and are a little more beaten up from traveling everywhere with the reader while he or she was reading it. (Side note to music teachers--If your students' lesson books are pristine, you can pretty much bet on the fact that they are not getting enough use at home.)

So basically it comes down to this for me: If I want entertainment and/or escape, I can borrow the book. If I want to really get something out of it, I need to buy it.
Here's an example: One of the 3 books I am currently reading is Neale Donald Walsch's Conversations with God Book One. I had 2 reasons for getting this one from the library. First, I had no money, and second, because I'm a bit of a skeptic. I have no problem with the idea of personal revelation, but I am a little cautious when someone says, "God told me to tell you..." You'll have to wait until I've finished for my full review, but what is important in the context of this blog is that even though I don't buy into everything he writes in the book, there are several places that I loved and that gave me new insights into what I believe. If I'd been able to use a highlighter and a pen while reading, I might have received even more inspiration of my own. This might just be a book that I have to buy after I read it.

So, when I have to buy a book, where do I go? Usually the only time I buy new books is if I have a gift card from Barnes and Noble or Borders. Yeah for gift cards! I love used book stores. Here in the suburbs, Half Price Books (they have gift cards too!) is the only place I've found. Like the name implies, their books are generally half off the cover price. That's a good deal, especially when you find older editions and the cover price was $1.65. I also love their clearance shelves with books for $1 or $2.

There are a few other used bookstores in Minneapolis that I love but don't get to very often anymore. The thing I love about used book stores is that you have to browse and in doing so you often find gems that you weren't even searching for. The drawback is that their stock is limited. They might not have a copy of what I really want.

That is where online shopping comes in. I've used amazon.com for both new and used purachases, but my new favorite is half.com. I've found some great deals there.

It is possible to build a great personal library on a budget. Most of the books I own were purchased used.

Now is your turn to share. Do you buy or borrow or do a little of both? If both, how do you decide which thing to buy and which to borrow?


-- Posted from my iPhone

It's August! Yeah! (I think.)

It's August, and August means that there are a zillion things I wanted to get done this summer that I haven't done yet. There are still items on my "To Do" list from August 2009 that aren't done yet. But, overall it's been a great summer and I've had some awesome experiences.
I kicked off my summer with a presentation on memorization at the MMTA Conference in June. I had a great time preparing and giving it, and except for having more material than time (even though I timed it a couple of times the week before) it went very well. My nerves showed up in the form of dry mouth, so I took a lot of drinks, but other than that, I felt good about it and got some positive feedback.

Summer lessons started the next week. I have over 40 students registered for summer lessons, but because of camps, vacations, etc., I'm lucky to give 20-30 lessons each week. I love my summer schedule. Monday is my day. Sometimes I use it for doctor's appointments or other errands, sometimes I clean (I've been doing a much better job of keeping up with the cleaning), and sometimes I just read and/or waste time. I've had Tai Chi classes on Monday nights, so I never waste the WHOLE day. I have pretty full teaching days on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and then do half days on Thursday and Friday, leaving some time for the business side of teaching. Like I said, I love my summer schedule. I just wish I could afford to have this schedule year round.

In early July I went to SLC for the NATS Conference. Here's a cut and paste from the blog I started about that, but never finished and posted:
I'm back from my trip and trying to get caught up on everything and get ready to teach lessons again starting tomorrow. Overall, I had a good trip. I didn't plan as well as I should have, so I ended up spending more money than I should have and I missed seeing some friends. But, the lack of planning also gave me some flexibility that was really nice.

I spent much of my time at the convention with my friend Elizabeth.

On Sunday, July 4, my parents picked me up and we went to a family picnic where I got to see relatives on my mom's side that I haven't seen in years. I really need to to a better job of keeping in touch. I just get so caught up in trying to survive my own life that I don't take the time to keep up with others.
After the convention I rented a car and drove to Soda Springs, ID to see my parents, niece, and other relatives.
End cut and paste.

I also made a quick run up to Rexburg to spend more time with Elizabeth.

While I was with my family, I helped with some of the cleaning of their house. The previous renters left the kitchen in a pretty scary state, so that's where I spent my hours. You would not believe the scary stuff I cleaned off of that stove. The kitchen cupboards were not much better. It made me want to come home and really clean my house because if for any reason someone had to come clean it for me, I didn't want them thinking thoughts about me like those I was thinking of the previous occupants. How can people live with that filth?

I had jet lag (or extreme lack of energy and motivation) for the first couple of weeks after the trip, but then I finally kicked it in gear and have really accomplished a lot the last few weeks. Which is good since there is so much I haven't done yet.

I was really going to get back to eating healthily this summer, but that kind of went out the window while I was on my trip. Sunday I'm going sugar free and low carb again. It's not about the weight (although I really need to lose some). I just feel a lot better when I'm filling my body with good things. I had an amazing salad for dinner tonight from the co-op salad bar. I love salad anyway, but all organic just tastes great.

Another thing I was going to do this summer is get back to going to the gym regularly. It hasn't happened yet, but on the positive side, I have been taking the Tai Chi class once a week and getting in 1-3 other sessions on my own at home.

There are always ay least a million things I want to do over the summer to improve my teaching and my business. I have lots of things I picked up at NATS that I want to work into lessons. I've already started with a few things and I'm getting very positive responses from the kids.

Another goal has been to find more ways to make use of Music Teacher's Helper. I used it last year to set up my studio website and started using it for calendaring and billing, but entering all the data was taking too much time. I'm starting to experiment with ways to enter things during the student's lesson, thus saving me some time. This week I've been typing up lesson notes during the lesson and then emailing them immediately when I reconcile the lesson. The only drawback is that I have to take my laptop to and from school all the time, or leave it there and be computerless at home.

School starts in a little over a month. I've set a goal to enjoy August and not get stressed out. At the same time, I want to see if I can maintain this level if high productivity so that I start the school year strong.





-- Posted from my iPhone



-- Posted from my iPhone

Goals

Yesterday while searching for some notes I need for a presentation on Monday, I came across some goals I set sometime between December 1997 and December 1999. They included a 5 year plan and a 10 year plan. Since both dates have passed, I thought it might be interesting to evaluate how I did and see how different my life is from what I expected then.

5 year goals
1. Begin concert career. Health problems and financial issues derailed this plan. However, even though I'm not performing regularly right now, I am practing regularly, singing better than I ever have, and enjoying the whole process a lot more.

2. Full-time job with benefits OR enough income from teaching and gigs to pay my bills and create my own benefits package. I'm trying hard not to laugh here. I currently am self-employed. I do make enough to pay my bills and buy basic health insurance. Retirement savings, sick days, and paid vacation, however, are things I can only dream of.

3. Washer and dryer. This might seem like a silly goal, but it became a very important one to me. The money and time saved by having access to free laundry in my own home has greatly reduced my stress level. Yes, I was able to make my hours sitting in the laundry room productive, but I can do so much more when I am free to do anything I need to while my clothes are in the washer. Since 1999, I have been lucky enough to live in rentals with a washer and dryer in my home.

4. If married, consider children. When I wrote these goals, I really thought that both marriage and children were somewhere in my future. I love though that I said, "consider" children. Even then, I understood the dangers and difficulties of bearing and rearing children while dealing with my health issues. By using the word "consider", I left open the possibility that children might not be a realistic plan for my life. Also, although a friend had encouraged me to consider being a single parent if I hadn't met Mr. Right by the time I was 35, the wording of this goal clearly indicates that I did not want to choose to be a single parent. I know many wonderful single parents, and I'm confident that if forced into single parenting through death, divorce, etc., that I could make it work. However, I have no desire to start the journey knowing that I would do it all alone.
At this point in my life, the reality is that neither marriage or becoming a parent is likely to occur. I did struggle with that for awhile, but I'm OK with it now.

5. Car payed off. Accomplished!!!!

6. All belongings in the same state. This is another goal that might need a little explaining. When I moved to Minnesota in 1996, it was with the plan that I would be here for 2 years and then leave. Consequently, everything that was not essential to success in grad school was boxed up and stored at my parents' house in Idaho. I found myself having to buy things I already owned, but didn't have access to. Or I purchased cheap replacements thinking I would only use them for a short time and then I could get back to my good stuff. My kitchen was stocked with pans, dishes, etc. from the dollar store when I had high quality stuff in boxes in another state.
In 2003, my parents moved, so I took that opportunity to go home and get my stuff. However, after their move, they found a few more things of mine that somehow we had missed before. Consequently, most of my belongings are with me in MN, but some of my life is now in storage in WA.

10 year goals
1. Established performing career. (Much laughter here). I wouldn't mind performing more, but a career as a performer doesn't really even appeal to me anymore. See #1 under 5 year goals.

2. Good job, or private studio. See #2 above. Although I don't have benefits, and my income fluctuates depending on many factors out of my control, I really do have a good job. The situation is perfect for me since I have the recruiting power and collegial support that comes with being connected to an educational institution, but I have the autonomy of a private contactor. This year, the poor economy hit my studio pretty hard, so finacially this year has been a struggle, but I feel like I did really good work and improved my teaching and my studio in many ways.

3. Children??? See #4 above.

4. Credit card debt paid off. While in grad school, I used my credit card way too much to fill in the gaps between what school and life cost and the income I had from financial aid and part-time jobs. I accumulated an obscene amount of debt. I am happy to report that through working multiple jobs and lots of 12 hour days, I was able to pay off the credit cards and my car in about 5 years. For several years, I didn't even use a credit card. Unfortunately, with the extreme reduction in my income this year, I used my credit card to fill in some of the gaps. Though I'm not paying off the full balance every month like I would prefer to, I am paying much more than the minimum. I hope that by cutting out a few things this summer and taking more students in the fall that I will be able to get out of this mess before it becomes too big to handle. Going back to the insane schedule I had while paying off the huge debt is not currently an option. Yes, I was making good money, but at a major sacrifice to my physical, mental, and spiritual health. One of my new goals is to try to find some kind of balance where I'm healthy and happy and free from debt.

5. Buy a house. This is still something that I would like to do, but the realities of my money situation have made this more of a dream than an actual goal. I simply don't have the funds for a down payment or to take care of all the home maintenance issues that are currently covered by my rent.

6. New piano--baby grand. (More laughter). I don't have the space or money for a spinet, much less a baby grand. Yes, it would be nice, but I spend so much time at school now that it is easy to just do my practicing there. I really don't need a piano of my own.

7. Begin retirement savings. See all the other statements about my lack of funds. I keep trying, but everytime I get a little money put away, an emergency arises and it just makes more sense to pay that off now and worry about retirement later. My current retirement plan is to teach until I am in my mid 90's and then drop dead during a lesson. (Or maybe right after a lesson so I don't permanently traumatize a student.)

8. New car. This plan has been revised. My 98 Saturn has over 120,000 miles on it and is still doing great. I plan to keep driving it until it completely dies, or the cost of repairing it exceeds the cost of a new car. The gas mileage is good, and why should I replace something that works just fine. Sure, it's not luxury, but it serves its function quite well.

I'm considering drawing up new 5 and 10 year plans for my life, and I may actually do it. But, there is another part of me that really wants to just relax and see what life brings.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Waiting

Sometimes I start to think that if I am not busy doing something that I'm wasting time. Using that logic, I've wasted a lot of time over the last month. Since I fell a month ago, I haven't really "accomplished" much. I do think that the accident triggered a fibromyalgia flare up. I've definitely experienced more pain and tension, even in parts of my body that were "unaffected" by the fall.

I've also been rating high on some of the warning signs of depression, which is also linked to fibromyalgia. It's not the "woe is me. My life is so miserable" kind of depression. It's the kind where all you want to do is sleep, but you don't sleep well; the kind where nothing can hold your attention; the kind where nothing motivates you. I've always been lucky that even in my worst times dealing with depression I have been able to make myself go to work and do my job, and I have been able to do that this time around too. But beyond that, all I've really done is read a couple of books (and I can't even focus enough to do that now) and watch Star Trek videos.

So what do a fibromyalgia flare up and depression have to do with waiting, you ask. Here's the thing: I often think of them as something to get through, to get out of, but I'm starting to realize all that they can teach me. And it's not just about how I need to take better care of myself, which I know already.

Sometimes these quiet times of accomplishing nothing are really times of openness--times to observe and collect information without needing to process it or use it immediately. And then when sufficient data has been stored, the connections begin to fall into place and the deeper meaning of it all becomes clear, without any real work on my part.

I believe in the power of fasting and prayer. I believe that they work because they alter our consciousness in a way that allows us to be open, to see things in a new way, to be guided by powers greater than our own. I think that in some ways, these mild episodes of depression work in a similar way, allowing me to process things differently, to quiet all the noise of the world and listen to what I need to do and be.

I've always had very vivid dreams, and last night I had one that brought everything that has happened these last few weeks into focus. I'm not one of those people that thinks that every dream has deep meaning, but this one did. It really helped me to see who I need to become and what I need to be doing with me life. And I know the dream wouldn't have occurred without the experiences of the last few weeks.

So yes, I do need to get up off my couch and clean my house, but I also need to know when not to fight this, when to just wait it out and be open to the revelation.


-- Posted from my iPhone