Rethinking Faith

There is a bigger, broader post in the works about faith, but I needed to share a few things now.  Shaping the ideas into words and setting them in some semi-permanent form will help me to anchor them so that I can explore them in more depth when I add them to the big post.

The concept of faith fascinates me, but it frustrates me too.  Faith should play a big part in my life as a Mormon, but the truth is, I have serious faith issues because I have trust issues.  And because of the words and ideas that I've always associated with faith, I believed my own faith was either defective or nonexistent.  Then I decided to be brave, take some risks, and see where it lead me.

September has been a month of exploring faith (and it's not done yet!)  This week, I went to a writing session focused on faith, and as usually happens when I really open myself up to writing, I learned some really important things about faith and about myself.

I think that as much as we might like to have a one-size-fits-all answer for faith, that's not the way it works.  Faith manifests itself in different ways for different people or at different times.   As we wrote the other night, I connected to how faith works in my life.

Faith can be testing the ground to make sure that it is safe before moving on.  I thought about tai chi walking, a drill we do frequently to explore balance and weight-shift.  You must be firmly grounded, with all the weight transferred to one foot before the other leaves the ground.  Then the empty foot lifts and does what we call a clearing step, a small sweep to make sure nothing is in the way.  You set down the heel, then the toe.  The foot is flat on the ground, but no weight has been committed yet.  You could easily pick up the foot and move it back to where it started.  Then, when you know there is firm ground beneath you, supporting you, you shift the weight to that foot.  Even after you have shifted the weight, as long as both feet are still on the ground, you are free to shift the weight back, forward, or balance it between both feet.  Your waist and upper body naturally, easily turn in the direction of the weighted foot.  If you choose to move forward again, you simply place all weight in that foot and lift the other foot for the next step.

I used to think about faith as "95% of people can walk across this icy parking lot without falling, so you should be able to too." To be careful or cautious about the way I proceeded seemed to be a lack of faith.  It worked for everyone else, so it should work for me too.  Now I understand faith as moving forward.  Period.  And if I need to take my steps with the certainty that tai chi walking provides, that can still be faith.

I also learned that my belief in possibility is also my faith.  Being a Star Trek Mormon is a legitimate way of operating in faith.

I'm excited to see where this exploration takes me and what the final form of the big blog post becomes.  Faith is what is important to you, and what you set your heart upon.  And faith always includes an element of Love. And in the end, Love, whatever it is and however you get there, is all that matters.

Armor Up: The Shield of Faith

This little project turned in to something much bigger for me.  I anticipate one or two posts, not a post per part of the armor.  But I was thinking a lot and writing a lot and it was a good focus for me. I had some nice insights, but now it's time to wrap it all up.  Hopefully, I'll be done this weekend.  We just have shields, helmets, and swords left to talk about and then we'll finish with a little insight I had this morning.  

The Shield 

When you think about shields as part of traditional armor, they're actually pretty amazing.  They're movable.  Assuming you're well trained and fast enough, a shield can provide an extra layer of protection over any vulnerable point of the body.  One source explained it this way:

The shield moves with the attack, no matter the direction.  

The usefulness of this type of shield is limited by its size and shape and the fact that most people just carry one so the other arm can hold a weapon.  (I'm much more interested in the sci-fi energy shield that basically just put you in a bubble that nothing can penetrate.  But, since Paul didn't know about those and since "nothing can penetrate" goes back to the draw-backs of armoring up that Brene Brown talks about, we won't go there today.)

Faith

Faith is one of my problem words, the words I can define, and give you scripture references for, and maybe even inspire you to have more, but I don't really get it.  (See this post for more information on concepts I struggle with and why.)  I think one of the reasons I struggle with faith is that I equate it with trust and at various points in my life, I have had major trust issues.  

In Alma Chapter 32, we read about experimenting on the word by planting a seed. If it's good and true, that seed begins to grow and we can recognize the truth of that thing by what it does.

It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

At this point in my life, I'm choosing those three criteria for how to proceed with faith.  Does it enlarge my soul or does it crush my spirit?  Do I feel enlightened (love that word!) or burdened and confused?  Is it delicious to me in a way that makes me want more, or does if feel like I have to choke it down whether I want to or not?

I find it very interesting that the answers to those same three questions are why I continue to study, practice, and teach tai chi and qigong.

The Shield of Faith

When used as a shield, faith creates a buffer zone between us and the enemy's attacks.  It covers those places that the basic pieces of armor don't.  It moves with you.  You can put it wherever it is needed the most.  Faith fills in the gaps.  (And there are oh so many gaps in our understanding.)

But this faith, like a shield, is still limited.  It's not perfect knowledge.  And you can't do the shield thing with both hands (all your time, energy, etc.) You still have to live your life and all that that entails with your other hand.  

Maybe the shield of faith is about learning to work with both real life AND faith at the same time, both interacting and protecting.  

All the other armor is something that I put on (or that someone puts on me), and I hope it works.  But the shield is something that I either pick up, or accept when someone hands it to me.  It's operation is not automatic.  I must do something to benefit from this piece of equipment.  The breastplate itself will lesson the effect of a blow to the chest just by being there.  But I am in charge of where my shield of faith is and which blows I attempt to block with it.  

The Shield of Faith as Energy

When I think about how energy ties into this shield of faith thing (and actually all the armor of God), I think about zipping up.  There is not a way to explain this quickly and easily that doesn't sound a little crazy, but this link has a fairly simple version.  Energetically, zipping up is about protecting you from the negative energy around you, deflecting the blows and arrows that the world throws at you (intentional or unintentionally).  "Quenching the fiery darts" seems like another great description.  In theory, you can block the negative energy and prevent people from drawing away your energy, and still be open to receiving love and feeling compassion and empathy for those around you.

Faith is belief with some trust mixed in.

In qigong we sometimes talk about "Yi dao, qi dao," which means where your intention (or attention or awareness) goes, qi (energy) follows.

Perhaps faith is intention.