Yesterday after Tai Chi class, I went looking for some beautiful fall colors. This year I have seen more of what I would refer to as burned colors. There are yellows and reds, but they are dry and dull. I knew I had seen a few trees of the vibrant colors I love, so I went looking for more. I wanted pictures to remind me that they existed. This was the first picture I took.
I love it. It was exactly what I was looking for. I also love the reflection in the water and the blue sky and clouds above.
I took a few more pictures at this location and then went in search of more colors. I found a beautiful red bush that I wanted a picture of. I was using the camera on my phone and I haven't figured out how to zoom yet, so I got a lot more in the picture that just the bush.
I then noticed the trees on the right. Those branches were bare, but absolutely beautiful. So I took another shot to include more of those trees.
Only when I was at home deciding which photos to post on Facebook did I notice what this picture is really about. It's not a picture of the red bush, or the bare-branched trees; it's a picture of the shadows of the tree branches on the sidewalk. I didn't even see the shadows when I was there.
I learned (or relearned) two important lessons:
1. Even when the world seems dull or ugly, we can find beauty, exactly the kind of beauty we need at that moment, if we really look for it; and
2. Sometimes we get so focused on what we want to find, or expect to find, that we miss out on the beauty right in front of us.
It's been an emotional week. I have many friends that were hurt by President Packer's address and more specifically by how some of their Mormon friends decided to interpret it. But some of the people coming to their defense seemed to think that the only way to protect their friends was to demean and degrade the offenders and all of their beliefs.
I live in a difficult world. My liberal friends think I'm too conservative and my conservative friends think I'm too liberal. I work and associate with people that don't understand my beliefs. I go to church with people that don't understand what wonderful, Christ-like people my friends and co-workers are. I work in a field that for whatever reason seems to have a much higher representation of the LGBT popluation than most fields. I love these friends. They are good people working through the arts to make the world a better place. I love them and support them. I am happy that they are out and have found peace with who they are. The frustrations melted away this week when I heard the joyous news that one of these same sex couples is going to have a baby. They will be wonderful parents and the child will grow up in a home filled with love.
Yes, there is a point to my ramblings and these two seemingly unrelated topics are connected. We see or hear what we are looking for, or what we have the expectation of finding. People on both sides were expecting something from President Packer and they heard what they expected to hear. For some, disagreeing with what they thought they heard ruined any hope of finding the beauty in any part of Conference. I didn't watch conference, and the first reports I heard of it were of this controversial address. I'm moving slowly, but I am working my way through, looking for the beauty and trying to be open to the fact that beauty may exist even in the talks and concepts that I don't agree with or don't understand.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, "I testify you are individually loved of God, you are central to the meaning of His work, and you are cherished and prayed for by the presiding officers of His Church. The personal value, the sacred splendor of every one of you, is the very reason there is a plan for salvation and exaltation. Contrary to the parlance of the day, this is about you."
Right at the very beginning of conference, I found what brings me peace. This is what I believe. When nothing else makes sense, I know that God loves me, and loves me as I am.
-- Posted from my iPhone
