Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I love what I do

I may complain, but I really love my job. I love to teach. Tonight I judged a Solo and Ensemble Contest at Wayzata and had a great time. I hope the kids enjoyed it as much as I did. I definitely need to start doing more judging and masterclasses. So much fun!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Great morning

I've had a really productive morning considering the fact that I stayed home from church because I didn't feel well. Anyway, after scripture and conference talk study, I spent some time on Facebook and set up a couple of groups. I've been meaning to get something like this going for a very long time.

I set up one group for my past and present students and another group for voice teacher discussions.

This isn't a very long post, but I had to write because I was so proud that I actually did this. KS will also be glad. She's my co-worker and she has a goal to bring our department into the 21st century.

Covenants

Stephanie at diapersanddivinity.com (sorry, don't know how to make that a link yet) has a General Conference Book Club where she chooses a talk from Conference and then over the week, she and her readers share their thoughts, feelings, insights, etc. This is my comment in reponse to this week's talk.

(This is in reponse to a post by Becoming LDS.) I too thought about what covenants I had made. I like Elder Ballard's idea of the periodic review. Thanks for the link to the chart.
I get really overwhelmed when I think about covenants and how all-encompassing they are. Although I can understand intellectually how obeying commandments and keeping covenants actually frees us, I freak out over how much there is to do. (That's pretty common in my life.) I decided to apply something I've been doing in the rest of my life to my covenant keeping: mini-goals. Actually micro-mini goals. On my fridge is a list of about 12 things that HAVE TO happen every day. I consider it a good day if I get 4 of those done. By setting the bar low, I'm not so overwhelmed and I get more done that if I try to do all 12. Yesterday I hit 8 and felt great about it. (By the way, I don't think I've ever actually done all 12 in one day. And you know what? The world didn't come to an end.)

So I chose three things this week from my baptisimal covenants to think about more and try to do more. Am I doing everything I have covenanted to do? No, but I'm doing more than I was yesterday and I'm headed the right direction. As these 3 things get easier, I can add others. "Line upon line."

Friday, April 24, 2009

Serendipity

I love how when something is on your mind it pops up everywhere. I've been thinking a lot about how I'm not quite what most people would expect me to be. I can almost guarantee that first impressions will not show you the real me. It takes awhile for me to get comfortable enough with new people or situations to let the real me show. But back to the topic...

Today I add 5 "people" that I encountered in the last couple of weeks to the "Not Quite What You'd Expect Hall of Fame".
1. Susan Boyle. There are rumors that Simon set up the whole thing, but even if he did, that doesn't matter. What matters is that the judges and the audience took one look and decided that she didn't matter. But she started singing and showed them that she did. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, search for Susan Boyle at youtube.com.)
2. Kung Fu Panda. This is not a movie critique--there were things I didn't like--but I love the lesson he learned. "There is no secret ingredient." He had the power and the ability in him all along, he just had to believe. The other character also realized their errors in judging him and grew to respect him.
3. Penelope. Again, I won't dig too deep into the movie. Once people got past the nose, they saw what a wonderful person she was. I also love that she had the power all along to remove the curse herself by loving herself as she was.
4. Georyn from Sylvia Engdahl's book Enchantress of the Stars. It's a little complicated to explain the whole plot, but basically, because of his love for and trust in Elana, he was able to do the seemingly impossible and save his planet. The invaders believed his race to be less than human and he showed them that he was capable of far more than they had expected.
5. My student whose name I won't reveal at this time. I love watching the growth in my students. It's especially exciting when someone does something beyond what you thought they were capable of. Just to make things clear, I think I am pretty good at seeing hidden potential, so when someone surprises me and shows me more than I thought was there, it is humbling and reminds me to never, ever set limits on these kids. In addition to being the first of my students to make the NQWYD Hall of Fame, this person has made it into 2 very exclusive clubs. I tell my kids that if they are singing so expressively that it makes me change the way I am playing that they have made it into club number 2. Club 1 is when they give me goose bumps or make me cry.

Side note, not about the Hall of Fame--I'm not sure how I'd rate the writing of Enchantress of the Stars, but it passed one of my tests for good books. It made me think. It challenged me. Elana must make, keep, and eventually break a solemn oath. It was interesting and enlightening to read in light of my recent studies regarding covenants. I loved this thought she shares as she takes her Oath, "What matters is that you are given something to draw on, a solid core to come back to over and over again, for as long as you live."

I really need to get to the gym now or I won't go at all tonight.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Frugality out of control

I read a blog yesterday where the author ended with asking what shame we had endured for a bargain. She had purchased a pair of jeans that were on clearance. They were cheap and they fit well, but the floral pattern on the leg looked more like splashed mud. I laughed, but didn't leave a comment. But then this morning, I found myself doing something more extreme than wearing ugly pants.

Let's back this up a little and give you some history. When I was growing up, my mother had this "thing" in the kitchen. Not sure how to describe it. But, the important part--the part that I will never forget is this: It said, "Wear it out, use it up, make it do or do without." I believe it.

My shame is that I wear clothes and shoes until they literally fall apart. I do try to look presentable when I leave the house, but my pajamas and Saturday clothes are the things with too many stains or holes to wear anywhere. Actually, I'm getting better at mending the holes, so my pajamas are just weird looking, not truly holey. Which brings me to my first item of

"Frugality out of control"

1. This morning as I folded socks, I separated the ones with holes and put then in a pile to be darned. And yes, I really will darn them. It's what I do while I watched videos. I try to always wear the good socks if I'll be taking my shoes off in public, but at home, and sometimes even at work, you can catch me wearing darned socks.

2. I have 15 year old brand new towels in my cedar chest that I haven't used because I'm waiting for the ones in the linen closet to wear out. Some of the ones in the linen closet look pretty bad, but they are still usable and I can't bring myself to cut them up into rags yet. I hide them when I have company, but I still use them everyday.

3. When lip balm or lip stick gets down to the bottom where you can't just move it across your lips anymore, I don't throw it away. There are still several applications in that base and I dig them out with a Q-tip.

4. Speaking of products that need something to hold them in the container, I "made" deoderant today. Did you know that if you scrape out the rest of the solid deoderant that is left in the base and then melt it down, you can fill up another container? Seriously, 15-20 almost empty Secret Solid containers can be cleaned out and then the product can be melted and poured into 1 of the containers and it will almost fill it. But, I did notice as I did this today that the makers of Secret are finding ways to wasted less product in attaching it to the base, so it doesn't "make" as much as it used to.

Frugality or insanity? I'm not sure.

The funny part is, there are other parts of my life where I am not nearly frugal enough. I've had to set some severe limits on purchasing books and music because my spending in those areas was out of control.

What things are you super frugal about and what in what areas do you have trouble controlling your spending?

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Law of Consecration: It's all about love

I've been reading and thinking about consecration a lot lately. Here's the official Jeannine Doctrine:
The early Mormons were unable to live the Law of Consecration because it was a whole bunch of rules about how you must give everything (time, talents, money, land, etc.) to building up the Kingdom of God (or the Church, depending on your views.) That's hard. Really hard!
It was supposed to be worth it, because only through living the law of consecration can we become celestial. It's part of the refiner's fire.
To consecrate is to make sacred. I believe that there is no need to make sacred. Everything and everyone already is. We just forget that. When we can really see people as the children of God that they are, it's not hard to share of our abundance. When every choice we make, every action we take, and every thing we acquire or own is viewed as sacred we start to live the law of consecration without thinking of all we are giving up.

The only problem is, that's easier said than done. But, I am trying. And I think I'm happier. If I was asked to live the United Order today, I couldn't. It just wouldn't work. But, I've started to view others as sacred and really love them for what they are, not what I want them to be and it really makes a difference.

Here's a silly, but true example: My next door neighbors have 2 small dogs that seem to know when I am lying down for a nap or trying to go to sleep at night. It's then that they decide to bark non-stop for at least 20 minutes, frequently more if the owners are not home. Don't get me wrong, I do love dogs, but there were times when I wanted to take a sledge hammer and beat down our shared wall so I could beat them senseless. But, I decided to try the sacred/love thing on them and you know what happened? No, they didn't stop barking. I became concerned for them. Were they trying to let someone know about a problem? Were they lonely? Were they excited because the garage door that we all just heard might be their owners coming home? It went even further than that. Yesterday, I was reading when they began their chorus. Of course I couldn't concentrate on the book anymore, so I listened to them. And I heard music. OK, that is a little bit of a stretch. But I heard pitches, and rhythms and patterns and almost got sucked into composing a song based on one of the barking patterns. Crazy? Maybe. But they don't bug me anymore.

One little itty, bitty step at a time, I'm learning to see the sacred and divine in everyone and eveything and to love them more because of it. Maybe I have a chance at this celestial thing after all.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

What it all means

I thought I'd start off this blog with an explanation of the title. It partly refers to how my current life situation is not what I planned or expected or what other people expected of me. But the real reason for the title is that you can't make me fit into a mold. Let me see if I can make this clearer.

My conservative friends are sometimes surprised by my liberal views. My liberal friends think I'm too conservative.

I have a Master's Degree in Vocal Performance. Most people would think that that means that I love opera and listen to classical music all the time when I am not at work. I have gained an appreciation for opera, and there are some roles I would love to do, but my true loves are art song and musical theatre. And I rarely listen to music after a long day of teaching. My brain needs silence.

Because I'm a singer, people assume that I crave the spotlight. I love to sing and I'm not sure how I'd live without it, but the hunger for applause that so many of my friends and colleagues have just doesn't exist in me.

I am a member of an EXTREMELY family oriented church, but I am currently single and don't see that changing in the near future.

I am a writer. In addition to a crazy 50,000 word project I do every year (see nanowrimo.org) I am involved in a writer's group that meets every 3-4 weeks to discuss writing topics and critique each other's work. The writing, in and of itself, is not quite what some people would expect, but my writer friends are also not getting quite what they'd expect. I think many of them are interested in eventually publishing and think that that is the goal of all writers. I'm not sure they understand that I write because I love to write. It makes me feel good. It's fun. Yes, it would be great to someday get rich from it, but that is not my main goal.

I teach voice lessons and here again, I'm not your normal voice teacher. My students will testify that I am totally nuts, but that's not so strange in the music world. I think what sets me apart is that I view voice lessons from a perspective that might be more expected with a general music or choir teacher. I believe that music is for anyone and I will teach anyone regardless of their talent level.

So, those are a ways that I'm not quite what you'd expect. This is the place where I will explore and celebrate some of the things that make me different and unique.