Goals

Yesterday while searching for some notes I need for a presentation on Monday, I came across some goals I set sometime between December 1997 and December 1999. They included a 5 year plan and a 10 year plan. Since both dates have passed, I thought it might be interesting to evaluate how I did and see how different my life is from what I expected then.

5 year goals
1. Begin concert career. Health problems and financial issues derailed this plan. However, even though I'm not performing regularly right now, I am practing regularly, singing better than I ever have, and enjoying the whole process a lot more.

2. Full-time job with benefits OR enough income from teaching and gigs to pay my bills and create my own benefits package. I'm trying hard not to laugh here. I currently am self-employed. I do make enough to pay my bills and buy basic health insurance. Retirement savings, sick days, and paid vacation, however, are things I can only dream of.

3. Washer and dryer. This might seem like a silly goal, but it became a very important one to me. The money and time saved by having access to free laundry in my own home has greatly reduced my stress level. Yes, I was able to make my hours sitting in the laundry room productive, but I can do so much more when I am free to do anything I need to while my clothes are in the washer. Since 1999, I have been lucky enough to live in rentals with a washer and dryer in my home.

4. If married, consider children. When I wrote these goals, I really thought that both marriage and children were somewhere in my future. I love though that I said, "consider" children. Even then, I understood the dangers and difficulties of bearing and rearing children while dealing with my health issues. By using the word "consider", I left open the possibility that children might not be a realistic plan for my life. Also, although a friend had encouraged me to consider being a single parent if I hadn't met Mr. Right by the time I was 35, the wording of this goal clearly indicates that I did not want to choose to be a single parent. I know many wonderful single parents, and I'm confident that if forced into single parenting through death, divorce, etc., that I could make it work. However, I have no desire to start the journey knowing that I would do it all alone.
At this point in my life, the reality is that neither marriage or becoming a parent is likely to occur. I did struggle with that for awhile, but I'm OK with it now.

5. Car payed off. Accomplished!!!!

6. All belongings in the same state. This is another goal that might need a little explaining. When I moved to Minnesota in 1996, it was with the plan that I would be here for 2 years and then leave. Consequently, everything that was not essential to success in grad school was boxed up and stored at my parents' house in Idaho. I found myself having to buy things I already owned, but didn't have access to. Or I purchased cheap replacements thinking I would only use them for a short time and then I could get back to my good stuff. My kitchen was stocked with pans, dishes, etc. from the dollar store when I had high quality stuff in boxes in another state.
In 2003, my parents moved, so I took that opportunity to go home and get my stuff. However, after their move, they found a few more things of mine that somehow we had missed before. Consequently, most of my belongings are with me in MN, but some of my life is now in storage in WA.

10 year goals
1. Established performing career. (Much laughter here). I wouldn't mind performing more, but a career as a performer doesn't really even appeal to me anymore. See #1 under 5 year goals.

2. Good job, or private studio. See #2 above. Although I don't have benefits, and my income fluctuates depending on many factors out of my control, I really do have a good job. The situation is perfect for me since I have the recruiting power and collegial support that comes with being connected to an educational institution, but I have the autonomy of a private contactor. This year, the poor economy hit my studio pretty hard, so finacially this year has been a struggle, but I feel like I did really good work and improved my teaching and my studio in many ways.

3. Children??? See #4 above.

4. Credit card debt paid off. While in grad school, I used my credit card way too much to fill in the gaps between what school and life cost and the income I had from financial aid and part-time jobs. I accumulated an obscene amount of debt. I am happy to report that through working multiple jobs and lots of 12 hour days, I was able to pay off the credit cards and my car in about 5 years. For several years, I didn't even use a credit card. Unfortunately, with the extreme reduction in my income this year, I used my credit card to fill in some of the gaps. Though I'm not paying off the full balance every month like I would prefer to, I am paying much more than the minimum. I hope that by cutting out a few things this summer and taking more students in the fall that I will be able to get out of this mess before it becomes too big to handle. Going back to the insane schedule I had while paying off the huge debt is not currently an option. Yes, I was making good money, but at a major sacrifice to my physical, mental, and spiritual health. One of my new goals is to try to find some kind of balance where I'm healthy and happy and free from debt.

5. Buy a house. This is still something that I would like to do, but the realities of my money situation have made this more of a dream than an actual goal. I simply don't have the funds for a down payment or to take care of all the home maintenance issues that are currently covered by my rent.

6. New piano--baby grand. (More laughter). I don't have the space or money for a spinet, much less a baby grand. Yes, it would be nice, but I spend so much time at school now that it is easy to just do my practicing there. I really don't need a piano of my own.

7. Begin retirement savings. See all the other statements about my lack of funds. I keep trying, but everytime I get a little money put away, an emergency arises and it just makes more sense to pay that off now and worry about retirement later. My current retirement plan is to teach until I am in my mid 90's and then drop dead during a lesson. (Or maybe right after a lesson so I don't permanently traumatize a student.)

8. New car. This plan has been revised. My 98 Saturn has over 120,000 miles on it and is still doing great. I plan to keep driving it until it completely dies, or the cost of repairing it exceeds the cost of a new car. The gas mileage is good, and why should I replace something that works just fine. Sure, it's not luxury, but it serves its function quite well.

I'm considering drawing up new 5 and 10 year plans for my life, and I may actually do it. But, there is another part of me that really wants to just relax and see what life brings.

-- Posted from my iPhone