Needs vs. wants

I have big issues with this topic, and not for the reasons you might think. Most people tend to think that their "wants" are needs. For example, the school kids that are on free lunch and can't afford pencils and paper, but have $200 sneakers and the lastest phone and/or mp3 player. Something about that just seems wrong to me, but maybe I'm just jealous.

On the other hand, there is very little in this world that I would classify as a true "need." I don't need or want a TV and I probably won't have one anytime in the near future. But what about technology specifically for use in my job? My "stereo system" is a hand-me down boom-box that is at least 14 or 15 years old and both speakers don't always work at the same time. My computer was purchased for next to nothing when the company my roommate worked for got new computers. It's getting old and having issues, but I just can't justify the expense of a new computer, when this isn't totally dead yet.

And now to the real issue--internet access. I have dial-up and consider that a want. I can live without both the computer and internet access. But...high speed internet would make my life (and work) so much easier. In order to have my business function at an optimal level, is it a need yet ? I don't know. But I do think I'm going to find out a little more today. Sometimes you "need" to do things that take you out of your comfort zone. I just hope that all these recent business "needs" turn out to make my work more effective, efficient, and enjoyable and that the time and energy I save will help me to take care of myself better.

Maybe it's a good thing I don't have kids

I don't have kids and that's OK. Sometimes I wonder how I would be able to teach them to be good people without making them totally neurotic. For example, today I heard something on the radio about tattling. I can't even remember the context. I just remember thinking that lots of kids over the years have gotten themselves in trouble when tattling on others. Yes, it's good to teach kids not to tell you every bad thing that someone else does just because they want to get that person in trouble.

On the other hand, when we teach people not to tell, we teach people to keep secrets, and not all secrets should be kept. If someone is hurting you, you should tell. If someone is hurting someone else, you should tell.

So how do you teach them when to keep quiet and when to find someone that can do something about the situation?

Summer plans revised again

In April or May, I posted about what I was going to do this summer. I think it was something about working on my autism/voice lesson project and maybe running away for a long weekend. The autism project was put on hold when I started planning a voice recital and practicing all of the repertoire possibilities.

Then I got sucked into actually getting my business more organized, including setting up the Jeannine Robinett Music Studio website. It is going to save me so much time and will really simplify how I communicate with my students and their families. But, right now, it's also eating up a lot of time. At least I'm having fun with it.

Yesterday, I found out that they are finally doing to the remodel on my townhome...tomorrow. With all the stuff I had to move so they could get to what they needed to work on, anything resembling organization in my home has disappeared. It will take me the rest of the summer put everything back where it needs to be. Yes, I'm excited to reorganize. I love to organize. I also love to do it when I have time, not when I'm trying to do forty thousand other big projects.
Oh well. The good news is that I had some wonderful people that were able to come help me move the big stuff. They even moved some of the smaller stuff that would have taken me much longer to deal with. Now I just have to empty the linen closet (and find a place to put that stuff), empty the drawer beneath the oven, find a place to put all the shoes that I can't have in the closet, and vacuum up some of the killer dust bunnies and spider webs we found when we moved stuff.

OK, enough time wasting. I'd better get back to work if I want to get to bed tonight before midnight. (I hope I can find the bed.)

Goodbye old friends (Quitting--part II)

I don't have much profound to say, but wanted to report that since the last post, I haven't had candy, cake, pie, cookies, chocolate (yes, I consider it a category completely separate from candy), chips, fries, or caffeine. However, I did have a whole loaf worth of peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches on Wonder White Bread during those first few days, so technically my sugar consumption was still pretty high. The good news is, I know I'm over the worst. The bad news is, I can never go back. My body just can't do these in moderation. I can either never eat them and be perfectly happy (and I was before) or I can eat them non-stop. It gets really scary. Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, double chocolate fudge brownies, Nacho Cheese Doritos, diet Dr. Pepper, Double Stuff Oreos--they will only be memories now.

Now I just need to renew my relationship with an old friend--the gym. I really love to exercise. People laugh when I say that, but I do. I love the way it makes me feel. I love getting all sweaty and gross (if I don't have to go anywhere other than the gym). The gym and I were good friends before I got so busy last year and would come home too late and too exhausted to move.

Another Facebook friend (and relative) just won a 5K in her age group. My knees can't take running that far (there is a knee problem unrelated to my weight problem), but I'm inspired by the number 5. My goal is to walk it.

Quitting

A friend just announced on Facebook her intention to quit smoking. She has friends rallying around her to give her encouragement and support. And I love that the first person that commented said how much better she would feel. It's easy to find all the reasons not to smoke--it's disgusting, gross, causes health problems, etc. But her friend chose not to emphasize how bad her current smoking is. She chose to show how good the choice to quit is. I love that.

I think one of the errors of many religious groups is that they choose to tell people how evil they are, rather than showing them the benefits of changing their ways. Don't tell me how awful I am. Show me how happy you are with the choices you have made. OK, I'm getting a little off topic. Before this turns into a full blown rant, I'd better get back to my original point in posting.

My friend's choice to quit smoking inspires me. If my friend can give up nicotine, surely I can give up sugar (again). I know that I can't be a responsible sugar "user" so I'm done. I know I'm happier and feel better without it. I choose this not because someone else said I should, but because it is right for me. I choose it because I want to be healthy and happy. I choose it because it is a step in the right direction.

Reframing

I can't believe it's been more than a month since I've posted. I've had lots of posts on my mind, but they still haven't quite taken shape yet. I had a wonderful experience a few weeks back with a scripture that has always really bugged me. I happened upon it while I was studying something else, and because of the other things I'd been studying, I saw this in a completely new light. Anyway, it has blossomed into something even bigger that I hope to post about here soon.

I love fresh starts and I love looking at things from a new angle. And quite frankly, in my life right now, it is necessary. When I continue to look at things as I've always seen them, to believe them in the same ways that I've always believed, it just leads to frustration.

There are two major areas in my life that are undergoing a lot of reframing right now. One is my spiritual/religious life, and the other is my singing.

Coming out!

Did the title get your attention? Are you wondering what I'm coming out about? I hope you won't be too disappointed that there aren't any major personal revelations here. But now that I have your attention...

I've recently reconnected with several people from my past. And a few of them are very open about that fact that they no longer fit the mold that we all thought we belonged in or pretended to be or everyone expects us to be. Some are gay and no longer hide it, but take pride in who they are. Some have left the religion in which they were raised, and have found great peace and happiness. I know that some of my other friends would comdemn them for these choices, and that makes me sad. I rejoice in their decision to live lives of honesty and integrity, to not be ashamed of who they are and what they believe. I applaud their courage and wish I had more of my own.

I want to speak, behave, and believe in accordance with what is in my heart, not what I know the people around me want to hear and see. I want to be brave enough and honest enough to open up to my friends and family about the things that are most important to me. I want my public life, the side of me that others see and interact with, to match who I am inside.

My students love the song "Reflection" from Mulan. She sings,"When will my reflection show who I am inside?" I can't answer for Mulan, but for me, the answer is "when I live every moment and face every situation with honesty and integrity."